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My shop’s dog-sized house-cleaner slugs were hot pink, for instance, and they giggled. But, yes, Gaven had indeed put some kind of larger mind into him. “I don’t think Gaven was all that fond of me in high school,” I said, setting down Carlo’s waiver. Flashing back to the numerous times I’d disrespected Gaven before, I directed a lurid grimace towards his swarm of spy-gnats—drawing back my chin, putting my tongue between my teeth and puffing out my cheeks. The cheese on these things was made from the bourbon-scented milk from merry mares. “Nummy num.” Amusing himself with some qwet-brained routine of being world-weary, Skungy flopped onto his belly and dragged himself across the counter, moving like a parched traveler in a desert. ” I cried, suddenly imagining I saw the old hustle in Carlo’s eyes. Gaven started yelling curse words—I was kind of surprised that he even knew them. To calm things down, Jane’s father walked over to the squidskin with a bowl of Roller nurb chow. I didn’t want to see the squid take a bite out of Gaven. And now the big nurb detached himself and began chasing us screaming children around the room, with his beak clacking and his tentacles going on the floor. Roller was laughing so hard that he bent over to brace his hands on his knees. ” “I do indeed want to know where you found that outfit,” said Junko. ” And then the women got into a conversation about that. We hope to develop a very broad user base for qwet teep.” Gaven paused, looking me over, assessing me. The woman at the bar—Joe Moon’s wife—remonstrated gently with her husband.

The bands on my squidskin wristphones were demure, pastel tentacles. As far as I was concerned, the legal paper could have held hieroglyphs written with smears of excrement. It was one of the faces I used to aim at him in high school. When he came to the edge, he leapt off it, did a mid-air flip, and hit the floor running. A pool of urine spread beneath his feet, dampening his fur. My point is that you need to change your presentation. He was kind of crazy, kind of a jerk, kind of like Jane’s big brother Kenny. “I’d like to take one of those back to California.” “I’ll give you mine,” said Reba. And it’s not something I’d wear over and over.” “I wouldn’t wear it ,” said Jane, teasing Reba. Wanting to learn more, I went over and asked the woman for a bourbon and water.

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Nurb merry mares, actually, but whatev.” “Look, I gotta get going,” said Carlo, losing interest. You’re gonna do business with me, we gotta chat, right? Like our grandfathers used to do.” I was oddly excited, and I was running my hand across the damp fur of the sleeping rat all the while. “My Lincoln Continental has a V8 internal combustion engine and a Turbo-Drive transmission,” I continued. I skewered a hot dog with one of the supple green branches that Loulou had prepared. Seems easy enough.” Junko rolled her eyes, but refrained from saying anything. It was like he imagined himself to be hypnotizing the cattails, asking them to turn into meat. “Same as before.” “So okay, maybe the cattails are qwet by now,” Junko told Gaven in a flat tone. But, Gaven, the only things we can one of my cattails? Moments later, Artie was back on his feet, acting like his old self, more or less—and Joey had collapsed once more to the ground.

“It’s the same model as the black convertible where JFK got shot a hundred years ago. Sizzler Jones bought out the museum—you remember Sizzler from school? I traded him one of my nurb-paint pictures for this particular vehicle. There’s rolling fields and a lake, see, and Sizzler put a few thoroughbreds in the pasture. “Fluff,” I announced, scratching at one of the cattails with my fingernail. I remembered that tone of his from our schooldays—when he’d gloat about his perfect grades. He had mud on his nose, and a bit of acorn in the corner of his mouth. And yours, Gaven, and Junko’s and—” But now Artie was interrupted by Carlo screaming bloody murder.

Even better, he might let you market the human qwet treatment he wants to sell. As long as I controlled Skungy’s chow, I’d be at the center of his life. “So—with Jane out of the picture, what are you doing for action? ” Carlo swiveled his head, keenly scanning my store. Reba’s condo was in the same tree as where I’d been living with Jane. “My big ride, she slime around so ,” I said, my spirits rising. Junko and I are saying he needs to be selling people the qwet teep right away. He calls himself an artist too.” “ I know him,” I said, shaking my head. We had a reasonably solid old house on fifteen acres in Skylight, east of Louisville. Francis school amid the nearby horse farms—as did Jane Roller. So, as I say, Jane was around from the start—at church, at school fairs, at Fourth of July parties, at the Louisville Country Club, and, later, at our high-school blow-outs. Like the PC or the smartphone or the nurb.” “And the worry is that lots of people end up like Joey? “Just forget about him,” said Junko, her voice rising. “You signed a non-disclosure agreement, you know.” “Disclose ? “I invented the qwet process on my own, and I chose to make it open source. Not that anyone else knows how to use it yet.” “Open source? I’m an artist.” “I think Gaven and Slygro are moving too slow,” said Junko. My big-deal founder’s stock won’t be worth crap.” Junko stared at me, and I seemed to feel a tingle from the touch of her alert eyes.

If they’re not selling by the end of October, I get more money or Gaven takes them back.” “,” echoed Carlo, savoring the tasty phrase. If you don’t bungle the qwet rat test run, Gaven might let you do trial marketing for more new nurbs. Gaven says we’ll be, like, the epicenter of the qwet wave.” “Let me ask you this,” I said, uneasy with all these grandiose plans. “He’s using a cosmic mind state to merge his quantum waves with yours,” explained Carlo, giving me a perspicacious look. I even glimpsed the dancing triangles of his ratty thoughts. The chow smelled like tobacco—which was indeed one of its ingredients. It was getting on towards the evening of a late September day, a Friday, the sun low and brassy, the temperature bearable, an evening breeze beginning to stir. I drove my slugfoot Lincoln around the block last week. ” “Maybe, yeah, now that you mention it.” Carlo was mildly interested again, and he let me draw him back inside. I might relaunch myself selling retrofitted cars.” “Screw retro. He’s better at it if he’s around someone else who’s got the quantum wetware. And now our man’s on the brink of a financial cliff. ” “Yeah, but the qwetting process has had some effects on Joey. Mom was a wedding planner, with a sideline in floral arrangements. Basically he’s doing it to himself.” “What you’re telling Zad is supposed to be a secret,” Gaven warned Junko. ” “Slygro will be marketing installation and maintenance,” said Gaven. “I’m not good at decrypting your sly, meaningful biz hints.

Did I mention that we’re calling our company Slygro? Enough with the bourbon and the tobacco and the horses and the Roller nurb chow. “Gaven hasn’t fully told me what this quantum wetware shit can do. We’ll be working it all out in the follow-on releases.” I waved my genemodder wand at little Skungy. “And if the biter is smart, that makes it worse.” “I’m no biter,” piped the rat, his mouth full of Derby pizza. Gaven and I need to see some willingness to please. Start kissing my butt.” “You go first,” said Skungy, laying a fresh turd on my counter. “I want to liiiive,” he twanged, for all the world like a Grand Ole Opry performer. ” A faint odor of qwet rat had permeated the store by now. “He’s just jerking your chain.” “I’m gonna clone me some copies,” said Skungy. “I keep telling Gaven he should reprogram Skungy’s personality,” said Carlo, studying his finger. It’s like he’s too impatient about impressing us local yokels. Waiters were serving cake and ice cream from tables around the edges of the dining room. In addition to manufacturing the Roller nurb chow, he’d become a nurb wholesaler. “Not to mention the public relations fallout regarding qwet teep.” “What if, for the rats, we just use Joey’s personality over and over?


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